Slowly running on the road, which leads away from the college of her dreams, Miss Mantis hears something, which she has never heard before. The sound clicks to her head as a cow’s mooing. But there are no cows in Haititkona. She wonders what this could mean, as she runs along and meets two zoologists on the way, who were taking pictures of a snake.
The snake, thought Miss Mantis, looked familiar, she didn’t know why, but it looked strikingly familiar. As she was passing by, the snake called out her name, to her unfortunate shock that not her prince charming but a snake had called out her name. Anyway, the abnormality of the snake speaking went unnoticed as she struggled to think why her prince charming had not arrived. The snake shouted, “ He hasn’t arrived because he has been held captive by a bunch of mad cows…..to stop him from his destiny….to stop him from you…to stop him from his life…his love…his everything…”. The zoologist named Larry says, “Miss, do you by any chance know this snake? you know, perhaps he is your long forgotten brother who went missing or something” and then Dwight, the other zoologists remarks, “So much for studying zoology, freaking hell you can’t even tell the difference between a reptile and a homo-sapien, what kind of a zoologist are you Larry?” .
The snake wiggles his tail, slightly rises above the ground and secretly hisses into Miss Mantis’s ears, “After infusing these stupid zoologists with my life- threatening, earth-shattering, mind-blowing, blood-damaging, pain-causing, venom, who think that wild animals love to pose for the millions of people who they show our pictures to without any commission for modeling whatsoever, I am going to go in my hole, pack my bags, and fly over to meet my blood sister Angelina Jolie, and you my sister in the meantime should rescue prince charming, your destiny, your love, your life etc etc etc” . So, knowing nothing about how to rescue this person, Miss Mantis runs along, thinking that if she didn’t rescue him, he would die, probably go to heaven, or be released from the cycle of birth and death, or reborn as someone else, but at least, he’d be somewhere or something even if she didn’t come to his rescue. Miss Mantis finishes the run, goes back to her room, opens the door, and discovers a cow sitting in her chair. Miss Mantis says, “Oh great, my life doesn’t get any better, first there’s the oh so mysterious, brother of Angelina Jolie, snake, who apparently wants to kill his own photographers who will eventually make him look good on Nat Geo, Animal Planet or something, but despite that he wants to heartlessly inject them with his poison which he has been holding inside since his girlfriend left him and took all the furniture away while he was left alone with a hole that drips water, oh does it matter? and now you, you a cow, sitting in MY chair? What do you want? What is your problem in life? WHAT?”.
The cow is taken aback by this sudden outburst of anger and says, “ Well, my name is Al, and if you didn’t like me sitting in your chair, then why didn’t you say so? why tell me the story of your life just to get me off this chair? fine have your chair, I am gonna go and enjoy some fresh air outside in the fields, you know what the problem in the world is ? Everybody talks too much of nonsense, they don’t say what they actually want to say. Like that snake you met, he was totally bullshitting you, he just wanted to tell you that he is angelina jolie’s brother, and cooked up a big story to tell you just that. Sure we have your prince charming, but we’re sort of training him to be one, so going against what the snake must have told you, We Cows don’t mean any harm.”
© 2007
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